Gluttony The New Black?

Gluttony. Images of barbarians gnawing on giant turkey legs, navels hanging below their belt buckles upon pillaging small villages. Gluttony. Present-day modern America bigger, better, faster. The new black?


As the holiday season decelerates, stress and excess lbs melt away and bank accounts bounce back upwards, we dedicate a day to reflect and make drastic, life-altering changes.

Beginning in October, as children’s bellies are stuffed with treats we promptly welcome Thanksgiving, a day of gratitude for…indulgence in mass quantities of jellied, cranberry sauce and pumpkin pie.  Before Thanksgiving is thought of big-box stores string Christmas all up in yo’ face, radio stations drone out carols until our ears can’t take anymore. Tobogganing full-force into the jolly, Christmas season, our wallets emptied on gifts piled high under the tree.  New Year’s arrives as an exasperated, relief, an excuse to bury stress and put the unbuttoning of tight pants behind us, Huzzah!

An optimist at heart, although, the above account isn’t reflective of my shining, positivity and goodwill charm, but really, is gluttony the new black?

Years from now, on Halloween kids could waddle around too fat for costumes gorging on giant, candy corn. Feeding-frenzy Zombie Apocalypse anyone!!?  Thanksgiving could bring together a table-full of lard-asses, inhaling food, falling into gluttonous-induced comas, indigestion taking its toll.  When Christmas-time comes around forget about the f#$*ing Christmas tree bring on the gifts, the more the merrier!  New Year’s just may determine, who survived the season by not succumbing to a premature, gluttonous death.

Pull up your glutton pants, ‘tis the season and hopefully, HAPPY NEW YEAR!

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